Letting Go of a Friends with Benefits Relationship
A friends with benefits relationship is rarely a long-term arrangement. While many are on and off again relationships over the years, most times the arrangement natural runs it course. Other times, someone will develop feelings that start to complicate matter, in which case it's usually a good idea to call it a day.
Letting go of a friends with benefits relationship can be difficult though, especially because it's not like a committed relationship. You're still friends and will probably want to continue being so, while you also want to let things end amicably.
Here's some tips for letting go of a friends with benefits relationship:
Try to Stop Having Sex Before You End It
It's a good idea to have as little sex as possible before you end a friends with benefits relationship. This helps to create a distance that will make the process easier and less of a shock, especially if you think they won't see it coming.
When the benefits stop, it's usually a clear sign that the relationship has run its course, which makes letting go of it much easier over the long-term.
Be Honest
Remember, you're still friends at the end of the day so they deserve your honesty. If they want to know why you're ending it, be completely honest as to why, as this give you both a better understanding of why its ending.
Getting closure over a friends with benefits relationship is a good way to ensure you remain friends, as you both know why the arrangement ended and how you both feel about it. Remember, if they try to change your mind by promising to change something, stick to your guns and just remind them that this is what you want.
Show Them They are Still Your Friend
It's easy for friends with benefits relationships to alter a previous friendship, so you should let them know how much you still cherish your friendship and want to maintain it. Just play it straight and tell them the relationship has run its course, that you enjoyed it, and want to continue being friends.
Try to emphasise it was more than just casual sex and that you still care deeply for them. This should help you end things on good terms and continue being friends but without the benefits.
Never Ghost Them
Never make the mistake of trying to avoid a friend after you end your FWB relationship. They're still your friend at the end of the day and don't deserve to be treated like a casual one-night stand. Plus, you'll likely feel terrible treating them this way if they are your friend, which makes letting go of the FWB relationship more difficult for both of you.
A good friend should understand why it ended without any tension or awkwardness, so there's no reason you can't continue hanging out and being friends.
Accept the Outcome
There are some unfortunate instances where FWBS ruins a friendship. Whether one person got too emotionally involved, someone felt betrayed, or they feel it's too difficult to go back to being friends, there are times where your friendship will take a hit because of ending the FWB.
Should this happen, you need to accept it and try to move on. You can't force them into anything and must respect their feelings on the matter, whether you agree with them or not. If it ends in a less than perfect way, try not to get upset or lash out.
Things may get better over time but if it does end your friendship you must accept it - there are risks entering a friends with benefits relationship after all.