How to Get Over A FWB Breakup
A friends with benefits (FWB) situation is quite common in modern dating. You start off friends with someone, then things progress into casual sex before coming to a natural end. Sometimes you remain friends afterwards, other times you lose contact all together.
In either case, FWB relationships are naturally going to be a short-term thing. Anything that lasts too long will either blossom into a relationship or see one side develop feelings that the other has not. If you started FWB up front and honest, knowing it was only going to be casual, then you probably won't feel too bad about it ending.
However, we are only human and there are situations where a FWB breakup hits harder than you expect. Maybe you developed feels that were not reciprocated or you are starting to miss them once things ended, in which case you probably want to get over it!
Getting over a FWB breakup can be tougher than some expect. FWB is a less conventional relationship, as you were not technically a couple, so knowing how to deal with the fallout from such a situation is not always obvious.
You probably have all kinds of mixed emotions about the situation, so let's look at some of the ways that you can get over a FWB breakup:
Work Out Why it Ended
The first step to getting over any type of relationship is getting closure. With FWB, it helps to know your arrangement ended so you can better understand why things went the way the did. For example, did one of you start getting feelings for each other? Did they find a serious relationship? Did things just come to a natural end?
Knowing the reason that the FWB situation ended helps you to draw a line under things. You'll know exactly what happened, whether any particular person was at fault, and hopefully come out with a better understanding of what you want from future relationship, whether it's FWB or some more serious.
Don't Dwell on it
Constantly thinking why the FWB situation ended can be a nightmare. You replay things over and over in your head, wondering if things may have gone differently. This is especially true if you developed feelings and the friend did not.
In any case, once you work out why things ended, try not to remain too focused on it. Things have happened the way they did and you cannot change them now!
Take the Time to Appreciate it
Having a friends with benefits arrangement is great fun for most people. You get all the fun of a friendship with the added pleasures of casual sex - it's easy to see why many people enjoy it so much!
While it may be over now, and you could have mixed feelings over this, don't be upset that the situation is over. Instead, try to appreciate that it happened, taking the time to think over all the positives you enjoyed during your time together.
Not everyone gets to experience FWB, so take a moment to appreciate it - you'd be surprised how much better you will feel!
Consdier Whether FWB in Right for You
Think about the FWB relationship you had and how it ended. Was there a specific reason, like one person developing feelings, or did it naturally run its course? Did you enjoy the experience, even if the breakup hurts?
This is a good idea because it can help you make the next step in your personal life. If you enjoyed the experience and are not overly hurt over it ending, then you might want to pursue something similar going forward.
If the experience has left you feeling emotionally spent, then the FWB situation may not be best for you. FWB is about enjoying all the pleasures of friendship with the added benefit of sex, so if tis didn't happen for you then it might be time to look for something less casual going forward.
Have a Good Cry
If you are really struggling to get over a FWB breakup, then don't be afraid to let those emotions loose! Some people feel much better after crying it out, and if the FWB was more serious than you realised then it can help to process the emotions like you would with a normal relationship breakup.
Even if the FWB situation was not a 'traditional' relationship, you can still be sad that it is over. Take some time for yourself and process all the emotions you are feeling.
Start Looking for Another FWB
If you are missing the FWB situation more than the individual themselves, then you might want to consider jumping back into the FWB lifestyle. Many people prefer to keep this type of arrangement long-term, avoiding serious commitments until they are ready to settle down.
A rebound FWB situation could be the perfect tonic, so why not try looking for a new friends with benefits arrangement? There are many ways you can do this, from reconnecting with old friends to finding new friends with benefits using the right dating apps, such as FWBdatingonly.
Maybe look for a FWB with a new friend rather than someone you've known a long time?
Do FWB Better Next Time
If you have decided to look for another FWB arrangement, then you can use all that you've learned dealing with the breakup for your next FWB! Think about what you would do differently with this FWB and use it to have a better experience next time.
Did you set enough ground rules? Were there certain things that made you get too emotionally attached? Were you limiting how often you hooked up? There are all sorts of pitfalls in a FWB situation, so make sure to think about how you would make it more successful the next time out.
This should also help you stop thinking about your current FWB, looking forward instead of backwards. Every experience is an opportunity to learn for the future, so make sure that you take advantage of this!